Messy Bed Messy Head and Other Ancient Proverbs

Can I tag out of 2020? Is there an option for that? No.

Okay, cool. Cool cool cool.

Let me just make a quick list of all the things I miss this 2020:

1. Hanging out with my friends

2. Working/coworkers

3. Going outside without the debilitating fear of catching death

4. Being blissfully unaware of murder hornets or fire tornadoes

5. Restaurants

6. Joking around that trump would kill us all instead of trump actually killing us all

7. Sleeping

My days feel like watercolors. Like… not horrible because there’s at least some pretty hues to look at. Minor silver linings that make all this insanity tolerable. There are the bright purples of the old everyday stressors taking this time for a hiatus. But then there’s the grays of all the new stressors mixing in. Bright turquoise fills the page for all the things I get to do creatively because now there’s time, right next to puke green tones of self-doubt because its lacking the personal fulfillment I always thought it would have. Pinks of hope are interspersed, but so is the dishwater beige of defeat. It makes a beautifully ugly picture. The picture of 2020.

Of late the greys and beige have been filling in the whites of the canvas. I need a reboot. These days I’m up all night and sleep most days. I have no real concept of time and would be hard pressed to even tell you what day it is. I make check lists because for one I freaking LOVE making check lists and for two I’m at the point where I literally have to put things like “Shower” and “Eat” on them. Yea. Probably not a good sign.

I can think of about a million things that would make me feel better but my brains too jumbled to work it out. Too foggy from lack of sleep and motivation. Not to worry, I have a game plan for a reboot, but the in-between time is always killer.

Step one, I need to finish the last of my cleaning projects I put off… my bedroom. Messy bed, messy head.

Step two I need to do a forced restart… also known as a sleeping aide at an appropriate time of night.

Step three, more lists. The more the better. All those projects need a streamlined escape plan from my brain to paper.

Lastly, I should probably get out and walk a bit. Fresh air and even a little movement can be a powerful treatment for the soul.

So see? I know what I have to do. I just have to like… actually do it. It’s okay, It’s on the list.